brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Randomize