I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Randomize
