who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Randomize
