I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize
