i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
This is my gift to your gina
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
