Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
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