i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Randomize
