Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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