can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
