they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize