I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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