You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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