There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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