Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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