2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize