when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
