just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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