fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
