I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
i think my cat just said my name.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
