I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Just high enough for therapy.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
