I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
