What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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