i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize