did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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