This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Sorry about my life...
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
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