so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
That reminds me...we need to get swords
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
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