First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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