Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
I'm both gender and math confused
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