I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
