drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize