Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
I have already put on my inside pants.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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