This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
