The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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