dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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