she was so not down for the gang bang
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
