I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
I just got carded by a ten year old.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Of course I have a pirate flag
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
Come share oat with me in your robe
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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