I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize
