This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Randomize
