if you like me you must not know who I am
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
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