Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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