I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize