Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
These tits shall not be calmed
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
