I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
