I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Randomize
