do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Randomize
