just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I didn't notice because vodka
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Randomize
