I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
You ate ashes out of my bong
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Randomize
