Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
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