Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
P.S. I can't hear my feet
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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