I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I can't turn off my feet"
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Randomize
