don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I believe in your delicious
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
