I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
Randomize
