Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
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