I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
another moral hangover. fuck.
pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
Houston, we have a squirter
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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