She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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