You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
