just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Randomize