I'm going to jail i love you
She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
