i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
