I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
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