Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
