in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Randomize
