i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
