Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize
