I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
