Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Randomize
