I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
