idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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