How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
He has the fingertips of a God
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
