Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Randomize
