why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
2020 sucks, I want a refund
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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