Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
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