my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
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