How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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