actually, I'm a sock model
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
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