Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
i believe in u and ur pee
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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